Relationship goals: 4 resolutions for a sweet and steamy love life
Love News Update
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, don’t leave your love life out of your New Year’s resolutions.
“I find a lot of us don’t come up with relationship goals until the relationship is broken,” said Toronto-based relationship expert Nicole McCance.
“We’ll make a fitness goal, we’ll make a work-related goal. But for whatever reason, once we get the relationship we assume it’s going to stay stable and happy.”
Unfortunately, that’s not exactly how things work. Relationships take work, regardless of what stage they’re at.
1. Date yourself.
This one applies to everyone, regardless of relationship status.
Toronto relationship expert Natasha Sharma tells her patients they’ll never be able to get everything they need to be happy solely from their partner. There’s also a tendency to sometimes spend a little too much time together.
She encourages people to schedule alone time for themselves and do things they enjoy on their own. That could be anything from a yoga class to maybe even a trip without their partner.
2. Limit complaints to two minutes per day.
It’s important to communicate with your significant other about what’s going on in your life. If you feel the need to vent, however, sexologist Jessica O’Reilly has a two-minute rule.
Once you exceed that limit, time’s up and you have to move on.
“Negativity sucks the life and eroticism from your relationship, and complaining makes you less attractive,” she explained.
In the grand scheme of things, O’Reilly adds, complaining about things like traffic, weather or customer service to your partner isn’t worth the energy. Plus it can be draining.
“Most couples report that time is their most precious commodity, so why waste it complaining?”
The only exception would be if you’re “talking through challenges and problems with the goal of identifying actionable solutions.” For O’Reilly, that “doesn’t qualify as complaining.”
“Most couples report that time is their most precious commodity, so why waste it complaining?”
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